Beyond bizarre just plain stupid..

I get some stupid texts but this is the one that really made me laugh and it was too funny not to share it..

I received this little beauty one Sunday morning 

Hi will you cut my dick off for £150 ,  I'm serious about this and I will turn up , let me know and we can arrange a meeting x , absolutely no comeback on you , I will leave as soon as it's done , do you have the guts ? I will not waste your time x

To which I replied….
 

Morning,
I will but I would need the following from you to guarantee no comeback.
1: A fully signed and authorized letter from the police commissioner of West Yorkshire.
2: A legally binding contract from your solicitor.
3: An emergency contact number.
4: Permission to put it on social media, YouTube, etc & sell to a tv company to put on BDSM Fetish TV.
5: Full writing permission from you parents/partner.
6: I normally charge £500 for this service as it wrecked my carpet the last time.

I'm available Tuesday after next if you meet the criteria

Kx
 

His reply 

Ok so you require the impossible , well done cya , I'm sure I will find someone who has the balls

The thing that made me really laugh was in his original the he said he would leave when its done, I was like really are you sure.  I don't think he would get to my front door let alone his car before bleeding to death…

So guys and girls and everyone in between lets remember to keep it sane, safe and consensual. As open minded as I am I like safe play, on the other hand if he had asked for this to be roll played as a scenario I could have been more than happy to do this and even dug out my cock stocks…