Thank You Sex Work

I’ve been thinking about writing this blog for a while now, waiting for the perfect time to put it out there. As I sit down to write, I notice a hesitation—a fear of what I might share—yet there’s also a deep desire to express it. I find myself caught in the polarity of fear and desire, a familiar dance. But I think the time is right now because, as I grow more as a human, I notice a deepening call to step into my vulnerability. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is courage in its rawest form. And so, this is a blog of gratitude. A love letter to sex work for all that it has given me.

This wasn’t easy to write. The words tangle in my chest before they reach my fingertips. But my heart tells me to keep going, to honour the journey that has shaped me in so many ways.

Thank you, sex work, for giving me an escape from a psychologically and physically abusive relationship. This is my greatest gratitude. When I first started in this work, I was trapped with an abusive partner, with no way out. Looking back, I can see how deeply entrenched I was in survival mode—freeze and fawn became my way of being. I shrank myself to avoid conflict, to stay as small and unnoticeable as possible.

But then, something changed. This work cracked open a door I hadn’t realized was there. I saw a way forward—a light, however faint, in the suffocating darkness. I realized that if I saved and hid my money (because he used to take it from me), I could eventually leave. So, I worked hard, determined, focused . Every booking became another step toward freedom. I gave my earnings to my ex-husband to keep safe for me—one of the only people I trusted because my abuser had isolated me from friends and family. That’s what abusers do.

I don’t share this for sympathy or empathy even. I share it because I have so much gratitude for the way I was able to carve out my own escape. There was no knight in shining armour—only me, reclaiming my power one step at a time. I also notice a sense of shame that I let the abuse happen and take an element of or responsibility in that, but alongside that, I recognize the version of me now—the me that would never allow it to happen again. Finally standing up and claiming my power and voice was one of the more life affirmative things I have ever down.  There are only two people in this world whom, if I ever came face to face with, I know I would not trust myself to remain composed. Some wounds cut too deep to ever fully heal, despite the work that I do, however nowadays I try and find some compassion in my heart for the two people who came close to destroying everything I am. 

But this isn’t a story of pain; it’s a story of reclamation.  I celebrate my reclamation and a journey I never expected to unfold as it has.

Thank you, sex work, for the incredible opportunities to connect with wonderful people I never would have otherwise met. For the intimate moments of shared laughter, deep conversation, stolen glances, and unspoken radical understanding. For the memories that will last a lifetime. For the odd sneaky smile when a moment from the past resurfaces in my mind, reminding me of the wild, unexpected beauty of human connection.

Thank you, sex work, for igniting my curiosity and leading me to deeper learning. This work has been my gateway to knowledge, my permission slip to explore. Because of it, I’ve had the privilege of studying with some of the world’s best teachers—opportunities I never would have had otherwise. I have stood in rooms with wisdom keepers, learning sacred arts that stretch far beyond the physical. I have delved into tantra, breathwork, shadow work, and relational depth in ways I never thought possible.  

Thank you, sex work, for giving me the courage to be myself. For showing me that my authenticity is my strength, not my weakness. For peeling back the layers of conditioning and shame, revealing the raw, untamed truth of who I am. This work has held up a mirror to my soul, reflecting both my light and my darkness, and through that reflection, I have learned to love all of me.

Thank you, sex work, for my financial independence—the ability to provide for myself, to build a future, and to live life on my terms. For this, my gratitude is endless. There is something indescribably empowering about knowing that I am beholden to no one. My choices are mine alone. My freedom is my own.

Thank you, sex work, for the tender and emotional moments shared with special visitors—for the laughter, the tears, the whispered confessions in the still of the night. For the privilege of holding space for another human in their most vulnerable moments. I have witnessed transformation, healing, and raw emotion in ways that few ever get to see. It is an honour, one I do not take lightly.

Thank you, sex work, for fueling my fire and my passion. For teaching me boundaries and how to hold them. For gifting me with the voice and courage to speak my truth. These are lessons I will carry with me always.

Thank you, sex work, for allowing me to create a safe space for others. To encourage expression. To hold whatever arises, without judgment. This work has taught me what true acceptance looks like—not the surface-level kind, but the deep, unwavering, "I see you, all of you, and you are welcome here" kind.

Thank you, sex work, for the friendships along the way. Some of my visitors have become lifelong friends, and for that, I am eternally grateful. This work has brought me into the orbit of people I never would have met otherwise, and some of them have become my chosen family.

Thank you, sex work, for the challenges that have strengthened me, the difficult situations that have deepened my resilience. Resilience is everything—it is the place I move forward from and always return to. It allows me to navigate life with grace. Every challenge, every difficult moment, has sharpened me, shaped me. I am not the same person who started this journey, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Thank you, sex work, for the times I’ve had to sit in discomfort and face my triggers without reacting. For the lessons in patience, in stillness, in self-regulation. I am deeply grateful for the moments when I have learned to welcome my triggers instead of fighting them—to see them as teachers rather than enemies.

For some, sex work is purely transactional, a simple exchange. But for me, it has always been so much more. It is connection, intimacy, learning, and growth. It is a space where I can bring all of me—my mind, my body, my heart—and meet others in the fullness of their being. It has given me depth, insight, and an understanding of humanity that I would never have found elsewhere.

And finally, thank you, sex work, for the freedom to live by my own rules. To wake up every day and know that I am crafting a life that is truly mine. This work has given me not just survival, but thriving. Not just escape, but expansion.

I bow in deep gratitude to this path, to the lessons, to the people I have met along the way. Thank you, sex work, for everything.

This journey has been one of profound transformation, of breaking chains and stepping into my own power. And as I stand here now, looking back on the path I have walked and will continue to walk, I feel nothing but gratitude. For every experience, every challenge, every soul I have met along the way. I am stronger, wiser, and deeply, unshakably, free. And that is the greatest gift of all.

Kristina J xx