The difference between Sex and Erotic
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The difference between Sex and Erotic

In recent days and after various conversations about fantasy and erotic I have been thinking of the difference between sex and erotic.

I have noticed in the last few years when I talk about sex I tend not to talk about for the sex sake but tend to lean towards elements of erotic rather than just the act of fucking this and a few other conversations I have had has got me thinking about why.

I have been giving this much thought recently while in lock down and where the differences between sex and erotic are. Sex in itself is simple by its very nature its the act of sexual intercourse there is no way of expanding this its as simple as penetrative sex, Think of the statement two people are having sex what is the image that comes into your mind. In my mind it is just that two people in sexual intercourse, fucking or whatever terminology you choose to use. I really cannot write too much about it as it is so simple and so basic. Sex in itself simply a collection of urges and acts. Sex is about procreation and is basic animalistic need.

Eroticism on the other hand is the pursue of delight in sexual pleasure. It is through our imagination that we transfer sex into eroticism. When we start to frame the act of sex with eroticism that sex becomes meaningful. The erotic in contrast is directly connected to our hopes, expectations, struggles and anxiety. Where sex is simple eroticism is complex, diverse and brings much richness to an encounter. As we explore the magic or eros we begin to understand more about ourselves and our desires and connect more with ourselves. When sex becomes a space you enter rather than sex just being something do this is where eroticism thrives. When we become creative with sexuality we become erotic and it only then that fee radiant, vibrant and alive. A client sent me an email the other day after a series of discussions around erotic, fantasy and BDSM and in the mail was the magic statement of -

'The BDSM that I have been involved with allowed me to widen my horizons and become a much fuller person. I understand myself a lot more and accept my limitations and realise that I can achieve things I previously would not have thought about.'

For the sake of this blog let's just drop the BDSM and replace that with the exploring the erotic. As I have already discussed sex in itself is simple is is just an act but the erotic allows so more and through exploring the erotic it allows us to widen our horizons, it also allows each of us to develop and understand ourselves more and gives us permission to achieve more sexually as we expand our awareness and surely everyone wants more fulfilling sex right?

Eroticism can be understood as process to arousal and within that process allows us the understanding of how our arousal and turns ons can be shaped, where our focus is and how we can express our arousal or sadly in some cases suppress our arousal.

The really fascinating thing for me and the thing that has grabbed me as I have pondered this is that eroticism is a reflection of and driven by our human drama. This is a mind blowing concept and statement that could not be covered in a simple blog but to give you an idea just take a moment to ponder this. Eroticism covers a wide scope but includes impulses and lives lessons we have experienced which is why the erotic covers not only delight but also debauchery. This is such a fascinating realisation linking BDSM so clearly into erotic thoughts.

So it is through accessing our eroticism that we allow ourselves to go on a journey or self discovery it really does come back to jumping down the rabbit hole and allowing ourselves to explore, after all we all know what sex is but to truly delight from sex and be fulfilled we must give ourselves permission to explore it fully.

In order to even enter the delights of the magic rabbit hole we must have an understanding of how to its not something that you jump into until you are ready. So how do we prepare? First its about letting go of judgements not just about others but about ourselves. Judgement whether it be self judgement or judging others is sure fire way to shut down access the true delights of sex and the erotic. Secondly we must learn to trust ourselves to enter our erotic realm this is where we need to undo the conditioning that has stopped up from doing this, the messages we get as we grow up that sex is shameful. Trust in yourself to be fully in your erotic releasing the years of social conditioning that restricts your erotic visions. Finally be gentle with yourself your erotic mind can be fearful of rejection and as such has developed a way of survival by hiding itself. It is a sad fact that very few people have been allowed to to express their erotism openly so we have hidden our erotic truths not just form ourselves but also from others. So now is a time to give yourself permission to step in to erotic autonomy and when you are ready take a leap down the magic rabbit hole.

The erotic is like a pandoras of of secrets and it is a fact that the best sexual encounters will take us to a place we have never been before. If we allow ourselves to step away form just the act of sex and pursue the true delights of what is on offer this will open the door to more best sexual encounters as we take the courageous step to explore new territory.

I hope this throws some light on the power of the erotic at the minute I am in a process of some deep thinking about our sexuality and how we access our full sexual and erotic potential which makes for some rich leanings which I am very happy to share.

As always with anything I write I do welcome feedback and conversations around these subjects. I have been working with a number of clients around discovering the underpinning elements of their fantasies and sexual turn ons which has been fascinating but also provided me with so much learning and reaffirming of my own knowledge on the subject of sex, fantasy, sensuality, BDSM and eroticism. Plus its keeping my sexual mind alive.

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