Feedback from a client on sexual shadow integration work
You know its funny there I was last night thinking about how to present some sexual shadow integration work I have being doing and looking at a few different people I am currently working with to bring the rejected sexual desires into their consciousness and I receive an email from a lovely gentleman I have being working with since the beginning of the year sharing a bit of journey together. This has been a delight and I love it when I get the opportunity to unpack and really add value.
Let me just explain what the sexual shadow is, basically its the parts that we reject and push away though fear, shame and guilt. I see it all the time nearly every day to be honest and I have really being enjoying playing and bringing some light to the darkness as I take you on a journey to explore you desires. I am currently studying sexual shadow integration work and to say its added new levels of depth to my understanding is an understatement. It has in effect added a 6ft drop and some to my underpinning knowledge. To say it has blown me away really does not do the work justice it has in effect being life changing. It is the most powerfully and profound pieces of work I have ever done and is stretching me to the maximum in terms of a challenge. Plus the added value of another underpinning skill and ever expanding knowledge bank that I am more than happy to share with those that want learn more and go deeper than what’s on the surface.
I recognise that not every one wants to go that deep and some of you just want to have some fun and that is ok and welcome. I also recognise and welcome them that dive a little deeper on a journey of discovery. I understand how deeply vulnerable this work is and how much it can bring up for those that have the courage to enter the jinot the darkest hidden diersire and face then head on. There are so many rich and powerful things that come from this type of work it has the capacity to be life changing.
So that kink that you think no I can’t mention it, I am too ashamed, or oh my god I daren’t say that she will think I am weird. I can really assure you that nothing is too weird and if its something that is not for me I will say and give a reason for this. What I won’t do I shame you in your desires and I will have a welcoming and non judgemental attitude. I feel really in a place to fully hold this space for you in a conscious non judgmental manner allowing you the space and freedom you truly deserve.
So thank you for the Gentleman who took the time to write this email today and I hope you get something from this if you are struggling with desires. These are the words of a much valued Client and I feel deeply honoured to have been privileged to watch such a wonderful journey into the depths of his hidden sexuality unfold.
The thing that really stands out in the message I received is how safe I made him feel and also how empowered I made him feel by returning his lost power to him through domination a bit of a paradox I know but when you fully understand domination this makes perfect sense.
Its an honour and a privilege to be able to offer such a space and facilitate sessions that are potentially life changing not to mention fulfilling and empowering this makes everything I do worthwhile.
I feel so lucky to be able to take people to such depths and really make a positive difference and also then back that up with knowledge and resources it makes my heart sing.
We all have shadows, a dark side that doesn’t see the light of day. A part of our personality that society tells us isn’t acceptable, we shouldn’t think that way, we shouldn’t express those thoughts, we shouldn’t want to experience certain things. As we grow and age it becomes harder and harder to freely express those desires and thoughts, we start to think of ourselves as at fault. And our shadow grows in strength. And harder to contain, we are in effect removing part of ourselves in order to conform.
And our shadow grows stronger.
My shadow is very strong and dark confronting and accepting that my shadow is part of myself, that he gives me strength, that he is always there with me is and always will be, is very difficult for myself, you will note that I said he, that’s because I see my shadow as alive, as a living fierce primal part of myself, that has been fed by years of suppressed emotions and rage. And what some would consider wrongful desires and wants, still with me, good you may be wondering where I am going with this, I will get there it just might take some time, so who do I talk to about this, who do I go see, in a society that is still largely bound by the morals and out look of a poor interpretation of Christianity, or by Freud, who still to a large extent still influences modern psychology. That’s a good question, try explaining to the lads at the gym about how you feel and see how far that gets you. I suppose you could search on the internet of things try asking Google or the bane of life facebook, after all we all know facebook is full of experts on every subject known to man and then some we haven’t even heard of.
So I digress a little but I am good at that it’s a skill that has kept me and my shadow safe for many years, that is until I can’t contain him anymore and he bursts free. And now back to who do I talk to who do I see,
Well in my case it was you( Kristina) I found you on the internet after searching for someone who would possibly understand what I was struggling to put into words and actions. so you make the first phone call nervous and worried is she going to think I am some kind of freak, is something wrong with this man, the phone rings and a warm and very friendly voice answers, I stuttered through what I was thinking and what I thought I wanted, guided by a voice on the other ed of the line, who was not only warm and friendly, but so non judgemental and reassuring that after I had made arrangements to see Kristina I felt very much at ease. Well that was until I arrived at her door.
The door opens and what can I say her pictures don’t do her justice, the reality is far more impressive , and in truth a tad intimidating, introductions are made and ground rules laid out, for what is to follow, which you don’t need to know about but the overwhelming feeling is one of safety and empowerment, odd isn’t it, and of course the light and warmth in kristina’s eyes.
When you feel like you don’t have the power to affect change or to make yourself safe its a fantastic feeling to have it given back to you. You might think it’s a strange environment to receive that feeling, but actually its one of if not the safest places I have ever been.
So back to the shadow just for a second, how did I learn about my shadow you ask ? perhaps you don’t but I am going to tell you any way, Kristina of course she has a fantastic knowledge and a depth of understanding that is staggering and she is more than happy to share that knowledge.
In the times I have been to see Kristina my shadow is more at peace then he has ever been almost as if the shattered parts of myself are coming back together, and integrating to finally make me whole. And whats more its amazing to be able to recognise someone else’s shadow smiling down at you and feel yours leap back and smile, no longer alone . Has it changed my life, yes is it for the better, yes, do I know myself better, yes
Thank you My teacher and Muse