Like a Violin

A woman’s body is like a violin and all, and that it takes a terrific musician to play it right.― JD Salinger

Good sex when complemented with a satisfying orgasm, or two can be pure bliss, the proof of the two being connected on a cosmic level. It can be just an everyday magical instance that reminds you that life is good as long as it can reward you with such moments, or it can be an earth-shattering, mind-blowing experience that makes you laugh or cry, leaving you breathless, making you ache for more and more, or putting you to a dreamless sleep as a final resort from all the pain and ugliness from this world.

But does one really need an orgasm or two or more to call sex good sex?

The orgasm gap

The orgasm gap is a term coined only recently, referring to the disparity of orgasms within a heterosexual relationship. It became an issue when women started to claim their right to have just as many orgasms as men. A national survey conducted in The US reported one female orgasm for every three male orgasms. In heterosexual relationships, men reported that they orgasm usually or always during sexual intimacy, 95 per cent of the time.

The gap is reportedly narrower among homosexual and bisexual people, where 89 per cent of gay males, 88 per cent bisexual males, 86 per cent lesbian women, and 66 per cent of bisexual women orgasm during sexual interactions.

What can be the reasons for the orgasm gap?

It is considered a lower priority.

First, too often female pleasure is seen as just a bonus, evolutionarily not a necessity for sexual activity. If it happens, good, but if it doesn’t, well, still good. We are raised within the belief system, aided by sex ed, where sex begins with an erection and ends in ejaculation — male focus only. This is how men and women think, and it explains a great deal about the female orgasm being shrugged off, or considered unimportant — important to say: by both men and women. This in itself leaves little or no room for female pleasure.

Kristina, play me!