Part 7 of a series of Writings by a special Visitor - Being a woman
When I started to dress I knew I wanted to look like a woman and not a man dressed as a woman. However it was not easy or quick to achieve that. I was not going to get into bodily changes such as hormone therapy or laser treatment so I had to do other things….
y first challenge was to be able to walk in heels. It is not just the height and wobble that gets you, it is the tightness on the toes unless you get a wide shoe. Some of the shoes I bought were definitely not wide enough and after a night out at a club my feet were in agony. So I learned to be choosy about shoes. Practice walking was important and only after a couple of years did someone helpfully say look at how models walk. They put one foot in front of the other and this will help. It is also supposed to make you look slimmer - sounds like shaving around your cock and balls supposedly makes your cock look bigger.
Clothes are essential and after I went in for the usual stockings and suspenders and very revealing outfits I settled down into a more reasonable but sexy style. It took me a few years to realise that the style I wanted was to exude sex. I think I managed it as I remember walking into a pub and hearing a lesbian comment on how sexy I looked. The same night I was invited to a couple’s house for a threesome but the guy was worse for drink and I didn’t go - very unusual for me as I very rarely said no.
I spent a fortune on clothes and ended up giving them all away but I really enjoyed buying them and think I got an understanding of what shopping is all about. It had an added edge going out to Malls as Lisa and feeling the adrenaline when asking to try things on.
Then there is make up. You would think the best thing to do would be to ask a female to help you with your makeup, if you can find one who is sympathetic to your situation. However I found that, unless they were experienced in making men up, then I was better doing it myself. Hiding the shadow from your beard and moustache areas is difficult and I could not always manage it, especially on the odd occasion when I could not shave whilst out and about as Lisa. One of those times was when I was imprisoned for a reality/bdsm weekend without shaving facilities and I felt very embarrassed that the whiskers started to show through.
The hardest part of the makeup though was mascara as I find it difficult to let anything near my eyes and unfortunately eye makeup can either set you up or ruin you. In hindsight I should have gone to a professional make up for TV’s salon or person to understand all the nuances there are and find the look that was right for me.
i realised that Lisa allowed me to express myself in ways that I could not as a man
So finally there is body hair. As a man I had hair on my chest, stomach, legs and back that I needed to get rid of on a regular basis to be convincing, especially if sex was on the agenda. I regularly shave under my arms and my cock, balls and ass so they were not a problem. I did try waxing everything but found that shaving regularly was just as good and now I even pluck my pubic hairs on a daily basis. I love the feel of the hair leaving my body and can get hard when doing my cock itself. I think I must be weird. Last on the hair side is the need for a wig. My normal hair was no good to pass off as a female so I ended up with about 12 different wigs in both style and colour. I never knew which I would use until I was made up and could then judge which one suited me that day. One thing I will say is that having driven convertibles in different colours of wigs, Men do prefer blondes and I got a lot more attention
when I had my blonde wig on. I was even propositioned at one service station by a guy who wanted to take me to the nearest hotel for a sex session - life is never dull.
I said finally but there is one aspect of being Lisa that is just as important and that is confidence. After my initial fears and shyness about being out and about I realised that Lisa allowed me to express myself in ways that I could not as a man. I was more outgoing, more caring for others feelings, I could dance and I made friends more easily and on a deeper level. I also felt that I was the one who could say yes or no to sex. As a man I always felt that the female had the say in whether we had sex or not and as a man I was almost always ready but often disappointed. Lisa was now in the position to say yes or no and that was a powerful feeling for me. Needless to say she hardly ever said no!
For a while Lisa took over my life and I almost paid a heavy price for it as it almost ruined my marriage. My wife was unaware of my other life as we lived apart for periods due to my work and her being abroad. I knew that she thought men dressed as women were silly or ridiculous and therefore did not tell her about it. That was a big mistake and is something I will write about later.
Sorry not much sex or bdsm here but will do better next time.
Thank you for sharing - I love that its written from experience.
Kristina J xx
