Let's take while to look at ourselves and our own relationships with sexuality, take a moment to ponder and recognise that sexuality is rooted in your relationship with yourself. So in this blog I am not going to look at partnered sexual encounters more with our relationship with our own sexuality and taking responsibility for your own pleasure and some of the blockages that can stand in the way of fulfilment.
I am taking this opportunity to share some of my underpinning knowledge for those that wish to develop the full erotic potential.
There is one line that really stood out to me in one of the many work shops and trainings I have attended and that is:
Before you can make music with someone else you need to master your own instrument. This is a teaching I took and developed and really looked at myself and in doing so I allowed myself to expand my own cap icy in the world of erotic and that aided me on taking others on a journey into their erotic pleasures.
Learning the skills associated with sex is no different than anything else its about mental and muscle memory. Whenever you learn something the learning becomes embodied in our bodies tantric massage is a perfect example of this where I often see body responses after I have embedded certain moves and touches it the body. The more you practice skill sets them more likely you are to attain mastery. This is when you are able to come from your intuition and do without thinking. Expanding your awareness into your solos skills will then allow you to expand our awareness into you partnered sessions.
Expanding your awareness
As you develop solo se skills maybe you feel ready to expand your awareness to the fact that your whole body is an erotic zone and take the time to notice how sexual pleasure can move though your body, start with what is easy and immediately in your attention, maybe slow things down a little after all the slower we go the more our capacity to feel. The trouble with sex is like everything else we are always in a rush to get onto the next thing and never really fully present in the currant activity, take your time and allow yourself to indulge fully in discovering your full erotic potential.
Feel free to be free
What a great sentence that is - feel free to be free, there is not right or wrong it's about taking the time to explore fully using breath and self touch and a lot of noticing and tuning in to yourself. One of the greatest leadings that I have learnt over the years is to accept myself. In order to be comfortable and have the ability to fully hold space for others I have had to learn to accept myself just the way I am. I have learnt to be comfortable in and with my body what ever shape and size I am. This has been a key to self acceptance along with learning to feel secure and unashamed with who I am physically and sexually. This breaking down self shaming activities can be particularly hard when we live in a world of perfect pictures in magazines and comparisons and self comparisons. One of the things I hear a lot is, "I think my cock is small, what do you think?' My answer is always, what or who are you comparing your cock to? The answer is always the same porn actors. Need I say more we are comparing ourselves to the manufactured world of porn movies. My tits art big enough, my lips don't pout enough and this is when we start to shut ourselves down instead of just accepting who we are and who ever we are we are just perfect as we are.
Remember to play
Remember when you were a child and you made up games to explore the world in a fun and curious way? Allow your erotic exploration to be the same. Creative and fun with a sense of curiosity. There are many times I have said in session oh I am not curious about that lets explore? This is because I allow myself to play having learnt through self play I feel comfortable to lead others into play and take their hand on the road of exploration. In adult work we forget to play and that is sad as by shutting down our sense of play we shut down our ability to be curious and in our curiosity we allow ourselves to explore and it is only when we explore that we discover. That I a great line I will say it again..
It is only when we explore that we discover...
Speaking the language of sex and the dirty words - its perfect in context
A lot of people have shame and discomfort around sexual language and there fore shut down their erotic capacity. Know your language as to free your lover within you need language to support you. A hot sexual vocabulary that can enhance any session weather solos or partnered. I am very comfortable with all sexual words in context everything from pussy to cunt used in the right contact can be a huge sexual turn on and this is perfectly ok. I love it when I get called a bitch in session especially when I am playing BDSM and brining out my inner bitch it makes me smile and the response is "it turns me on when you call me a bitch?' Its about context the right language for the right scenario and allowing yourself to use that language. There is nothing to be shamed about its perfectly fine and acceptable. For stronger language and triggering language I always check in with the other party involved if it is ok with them, such as verbal humiliation. I am very happy to do this but would never do it out of context and without agreement and I will always safe word it.
Allow yourself to be free and create your own language one of things I have learnt in session is to listen to the language you use and use it too. This reinforces acceptance of you and your language and also creates resonance.
To create a sex positive culture with ourselves and win our relationships in our wold we need to feel free to talk, to ask and to discuss. I encourage anyone who visits me to find the courage to speak their sexual truth and voice their desires and to fully liberate your voice. In return I promise to fully hear you in your requests and do my very best to deliver a mind blowing encounter that will expand your erotic potential and sexual awareness.
In a few days I will follow on from this blog with shame free sex, and freeing your mind and graniting yourself wild permission
Any questions just drop me a line I am more than happy to answer any questions while in self isolation.
Kisses Kristina J - Huddersfield Escort and sensual seductress