Here is a blog I wrote a few years ago after spending many years the hands of a verbally abusive ex. I learnt a lot in this time about what I want and about growing into my self awareness. I learnt many lessons in how to become a stronger and more stable person and ho to be boundaries with others. The experience I went through was a catalyst of my learning and in recent weeks this individual did contact. me to apologise for his behaviour. I accepted the apology but will never forget the verbal torrent I suffered at his hands so I asked him to never contact me again.
I am sharing this for anyone else who has been outed and verbally abused its hard when you are in it but sometimes its part of life learning paths and as the years pass by things do get Bette.
I have been working as an Escort for quite a few years now firstly in Bristol and now in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. I am established at what I do and tour nationally but it has not come without its unique challenges. Without exception these challenges are in my private life which after many years I have found the strength to make it a now supportive network of close friends and selected family members.
I want to make it clear that there is no shame in my game. I am not embarrassed by any of my kinks, taking my clothes off, or charging for my services. . I do not feel bad about making a living by "selling my body, and skills". I am open about what I do and love it. Here a little sneaky peek of some of the bullshit I have had from my previous relationships – guys who think because I am an Escort it gives them the right to call me a slag and slut and treat me with little regard.
I do not have a problem with being "discovered." I have though in the past had problems with ex partners trying to cause me issues by publically revealing my identity, car registration details and where I hang out in my private time. Telling friends my website address and friends of friends and even at the time my employer. I now have an attitude towards this individual of fuck you when someone is so hell bent on damaging me there is only so much they can do. One if my favourite lines after I was outed 8 years ago was who are you going to tell next Santa Clause.
Trying to out me by publishing my personal details is cruel and has the potential to cause great harm to me. My pseudonym and keeping my private life as private as possible provides me with the ability to work freely, without fear. I take great care to ensure my safety and keep my personal information private for just this reason however now a days I am a bit more open and will talk happily about my private life, but I am in a much safer place now.
I would like to thank this individual for attempting to take that away from me. I hope it feels good. What was trying to be achieved to this day I do not know? I will say that only recently I did receive an apology from him for his actions which I did accept but I will never forget the ways I was treated.
There were a lot of things that have been said to me that I would like to address.
"How does it feel to be a demeaned an Escort?"- It feels great! I wake up everyday with a smile on face, get in the shower, put some pretty clothing on, and get paid to have amazing sexual encounters. Also, I do not feel demeaned. I love my body, I have respect for myself, and I love what I do, I love my visitors and everything that goes with it. It has given me a great sense of self-discovery and opened many doors in regards to the ability to try different things sexually.
Another one of my favourites - "It’s not like it’s a real job is it?" - I am not on any drugs. I am not desperate. I am well educated. I chose to be an Escort. Yup, thats right... I made a conscious decision, despite having a degree, to do sexual acts for money. I am okay with and own this fact. So to anyone who is judgmental and narrow minded to pass comment on something they know nothing about I would make the offer to walk a day or two in my shoes before making assumptions about something they are clearly ignorant to. I am a professional escort and with that comes responsibility of providing a top class service consistently which attires not only is fun it can also be challenging.
"Don't you care about the shame this brings to your family?" I refuse to let other people feelings dictate what I do with my life. If they, or anyone else have a problem with what I do or how I conduct myself, that is their problem to deal with, it is not my problem. Shame is one of the biggest drivers of society and when we let go of the shame we begin to see the opportunities arising.
"You are useless and are only good for one thing."- Escorts are talented people who get paid for their sex appeal AND their skills. There is a whole lot more to me than just some holes... People wouldn't pay me if that was the case. I am confident in myself and don't need to seek the validation of other. I know who I am and that there are many things I am good at other than sex and with an expanded range of skill sets you only need to check out my reviews to see this.
"You are a dirty slut, who is ever you going to love you?" - I am a dirty woman and I know for a fact there are people who love me for that reason, not despite it. These are people who would love and respect me no matter what I choose to do as long as I was still a good person. Those are the people I want in my life, they are the only ones who matter.
" You are nothing but a worthless Escort who probably has STDS." - Reality check please, sex workers are often more knowledgeable about sexual health – and practice safe sex more often – than the general population. Not to mention we get tested more often, and are more conscious of the potential risk that come with sex.
On a side note, I have to say, telling me I am "nothing but a dirty woman" kind of makes my pussy wet. How does that make you feel?
I appreciate the attempts that were made to try and make me feel bad for what I do, scare and extort me, but I am too strong for that. You picked the wrong girl. I refuse to be slutshamed, embarrassed, or ostracized because of how I choose to make my living... or for anything else for that matter. Pervasive stigma against sex workers is not something I am willing accept.
You aren't going to break me. I am not going to cry. Like I said though, good try!!
I am proud to admit that I am an Escort and love what I do!!! I am in if for the long term and intend to be here for a long time to continue having fun and enjoying what I do.
Kisses Kristina Yorkshire Escort xxx